Translating Janas

German football website www.dw-world.de recently ran an interview with Coach Pawel Janas. Though the interview took place in German and Polish while the version most surfers will read is in English, something is bound to be lost in translation. However, with a little application of the fan’s vast knowledge of Vacuous Jockspeak, Coach Janas’ true thoughts can be more easily understood.

You can read the full piece as translated by the DW World folks here. Excerpts with – if i may be so bold – slightly more accurate translation run below.

dw-world.de: In 1974, the last time the World Cup was held in Germany, Poland reached third place, the best result in the history of Polish soccer. Is a repeat performance realistic?

Pawel Janas, DW World translation: First of all, I have to say that Poland also made it to third place in the 1982 World Cup in Spain. As a player, I was personally involved in that sporting event by playing every minute of all the games. I think it testifies to the fact that the Polish team has the opportunity to put in very good performances.

WorldCupBlog Poland translation: No.

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dw: Isn’t it easier to play when you are underestimated?

PJ: You have to separate two things here. We are not a favorite for this World Cup, but the Polish fans always put a lot of hope behind their team, which means we are “playing under pressure” to a certain degree.

WCBP translation: Look, when you’re playing Brazil, you could be underestimated to the lowest possible depths and it wouldn’t stop Rolandinho from leaving spike tracks up your torso as he repeatedly runs you over. Putting heavy manacles on Oliver Kahn – now that would make it easier to play.

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dw: Does the country put Polish soccer’s rebound down to your excellent work as trainer or other factors like an improved youth program or even just simple luck … ?

PJ: This question deals with a very broad subject. In the interests of keeping the interview somewhat short … [and Janas continues with a broad answer that is not kept short at all.]

WCBP translation: Sure, why not?

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dw: How far will the Polish team make it?

PJ: Next question please.

WCBP translation: Look, let’s be realistic. British bookmakers have us going off at 80-1 odds. Advancement would be nice, but let’s not burn that bridge until we come to it, all right? I’m just hoping that by the time this thing’s over, our boys aren’t considering a nil-nil draw with Ecuador a moral victory.

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dw: How strong do you think the German team is?

PJ: The German team is very balanced and it’s difficult to find its weak points. Germany is a candidate to win the world champion title. I hope that our teams meet twice during this tournament.

WCBP translation: Why are you pushing this question, you schweinhund? You want my real answer? Germany is weak and will be aided primarily by home-field advantage and a weak group, Khan or no.

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dw: Do you think Germany will live up to its goal of hosting an open, tolerant and friendly tournament?

PJ: The Germans are known as masters of organization around the world. For many years German-Polish relations have been really friendly, and that’s a word I’m not afraid to use. Additionally, Germany plays a meaningful role in Europe, it is a founder of the EU. I hope that answers your question.

WCBP translation: Next question.

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dw: And who is going to win the World Cup?

PJ: Brazil are my favorites, but Germany should also win a medal.

WCBP translation: Brazil.