No names

If for nothing else, Team Poland is getting press attention for the “no-name” quality of this year’s squad.

No smaller a source than that CNN of the sports world – espn.com – yesterday posted a nice piece, the gist of which was “Who the heck are these guys, anyway?” (Excepting Pawel Janas, whom even the American media has noticed.) About one-third of the story is devoted to past glories and one-third to Janas. The final 33% is essentially given over to “one to watch” (one, mind you): Ebi Smolarek, a dude certain to catch the bloodshot eye of smoking fans, as the espn piece cites his nickname of “The Hash Bomber.” Seems ol’ Ebi tested positive for marijuana while playing for Feyenoord (shocking!) …

Meanwhile, Reuters informed the world early last week that the “World Cup is last chance for Polish journeymen.” Hey, who’re you calling a journeyman, fool? What are Artur Boric and Maciej Zurawski, chopped kielbasa?

Seriously, though, on this one, the mainstream media guys may have a point. Just as it took the Cup to give Lato and Zibi rightful positions on the world stage, this year’s tourney is seen as an opportunity for Bialo-czerwoni players who dominate in Ukraine, Cyprus and Krakow to see and be seen. With visions of Euro signs dancing in his head Miroslaw Szymkowiak said, “Every one of us is willing to lose a leg to show we can play.” (Uh, it’s a great quote, but following through on that deal won’t net anyone a contract.) “If we do well, all of us will have offers of new contracts abroad.”

While puzzling over the unrecognizable names making up the roster, pundits continue to proclaim the bafflement over the “stunning” exclusion of Jerzy Dudek. Dudek, perhaps still considered a star by some, is on the downside of his career and falling fast. English-language media, however, persists in insisting that he’s still good enough to make Polska’s top three. Rather than praising Janas for having both the brains and cajones to give promising youngster Lukasz Fabianski a chance, despite wide acknowledgement that 2006 could be considered a “rebuilding year” for Team Poland, writes are shaking heads at the “omission” (love the use of that word — like Janas just forget to write him in) of a name player that might have proven little more than a distraction as a member of the squad.

Prognostications generally take a glance at the Polish roster, see a dearth of A-league Western European players, and proclaim a future of gloomy doom.

My question here is “What am i missing?” Has the free-agent multi-billion dollar superstar-at-every-position mentality of America taken over international sport to such an extent that any squad not packed with household names is written off? And the star worship pervades despite a number of examples to the contrary in recent years.

Examples? All right, let’s start completely outside the realm of football. Who remembers the valiant USA Olympic team of this year? You know, that squad filled with dudes known ‘round the world like Allen “The Illustrated Man” Iverson and LeBron “King” James. They took the bronze; sorry, the Dream What? And for every New York Yankees spending more than a developing nation’s trade deficit to buy the World Series, there’s a New York Knicks ridiculously overspending to produce headlines, hype, attendance and a final record dozens of games under .500.

Closer to the Beautiful Game, does anyone remember who played in the consolation game last time out? South Korea and Turkey, wasn’t it? Not exactly hotbeds of glamour boys there. And i seem to recall an unbeatable Spanish league team called Real Madrid…

Here’s another fearless prediction. After emerging from an extremely weak Group A (and probably even giving overrated Germany a game), the Poles will be pronounced one of the “surprises of the tournament,” alongside whichever disrespected African team makes the sweet sixteen. And if Team Poland makes it past England or Sweden in the knockout stage, we’ll all be treated to another round of “who are these guys?” articles, except they’ll be retitled “Who Are These Guys?”

But some of us will be able to say we knew all along…

Go 2001 New England Patriots! I mean, go 2006 Poland!