Euro 2008 Predictor Bracket. How Far Will Poland Go?

A great game proposed by the guys from World Cuo Blog this Euro 2008 Predictor. After all, everyone likes betting and showing off with their football knowledge. I’m not an exception here so I decided to share my prophecies with you.

Come here, closer, closer while I have a look into my ever dependable glass ball. Want to know how the Euros will end? Want to know how will Poland perform? Sit back and enjoy THE TRUTH.

Group A
1 Portugal
2 Switzerland
3 Turkey
4 Czech Republic

Portugal has to be a great team as they managed to draw with a mighty Poland at home. They’ve got true magicians like Ronaldo (nicknamed Krystyna in Poland), Deco, Quaresma or Nani. The only thing they lack is a world class striker (Hugo Almeida anyone?), but Krystyna’s goalscoring record was so impressive this year that he might as well make up for this drawback. Switzerland will be second since they’re a host nation and have a really interesting, young team. I liked the way they played in 2006 and I think they’ll be even better this time around. Turkey is capable of everything, but they are not as technically good as Portugal and not as organized as the Swiss. An entertaining team to watch. This tournament will see a downfall of the Czech team. No Nedved, no Rosicky, no wins. They weren’t impressive in 2006 and will be even worse now.

Group B
1 Germany
2 Poland
3 Austria
4 Croatia

Germany will live on Ballack’s fuel. He’ll be the biggest star of the tournament. They’ll win the group unless Mad Jens decides otherwise. Poland will show great physical preparation and a will to fight. Ebi Smolarek and Kuba Blaszczykowski will change into Eto’o and Messi respectively. Austria as a host nation will be prepared above their true potential, but it still won’t be enough. The in-love-with-themselves Croats will underestimate their first opponent (Austria), lose and will remain in a state of shock till the end of the tournament. An Eduardo-like injury for Modric after Pogatetz’s attack.

Group C
1 France
2 Italy
3 Holland
4 Romania

France will top the group after great defensive play and Benzema’s magical abilities in front of goal. Henry will forget about last season and take everybody by surprise with a return to great form. Italy won’t play great at the group stage but will be saved by Toni’s goals from nowhere (or from ass as we say in Poland) and occasional sparks of genius by Del Piero and Cassano. Holland will be the most entertaining team to watch in the group, but they’ll lose with injuries (Robben, van Persie, Sneijder, van Nistelrooy, van der Vaart all frequent users of stretchers). Romania will fight hard in every match, but won’t be able to keep up in terms of skills, especially after Mutu overdoses on porn.

Group D
1 Spain
2 Russia
3 Sweden
4 Greece

No team to match Spain here. David Villa will be fighting for a transfer out of Valencia, David Silva will be fighting for a transfer to Barcelona, Xavi, Iniesta and Puyol will be fighting to forget about the last season and Cesc will be fighting to be considered a man, not a kid anymore. Second place for Hiddink’s Russia, who’ll be one of the best tactically organized teams in the tournament. Sweden will be one of the most boring teams: Ibra never performs in crucial matches and Ljungberg and Larsson will be more interested in finding a good home for elderly rather than football. Greece used up all their luck for the next 1237891274091237 years in 2004, no trophy this time.

Quarterfinals:
Poland defeats Portugal after Boruc saves Ronaldo’s penalty in the 88th minute and Magic Zurawski scores after a counter in the 89th minute.
Germany defeats Switzerland after Senderos’ own goal. Fortunately, earlier Senderos manages to end Klose and Podolski’s careers with beautifully aggresive tackles (one can read ‘kurwa’ from Podolski’s lips in the slow motion replay).
France defeats Russia after Gomis proves to be one player that Guus Hiddink didn’t take into consideration when devising Russia’s tactics.
Italy defeats Spain after Cassano’s hattrick. Afterwards Cassano (tears in his eyes) says that Cassillas has always harassed him while at Real and it was a perfect time for revenge.

Semis:
Germany defeats Poland (sniff) after penalties. Maciej Zurawski misses a decisive penalty. Afterwards he says that he changed his mind in the last moment when shooting.
France defeats Italy after Cassano gets two yellow cards for diving. Thuram repeats his 1998 performance and scores twice. Everybody kisses his now talismanic bald head.

Final:
France defeats Germany after Mad Jens decides to dribble in the box. The problem is Makelele is one of the best ball winners in today’s football. Claude becomes the French national hero.

There you have it. Remember, you heard it here first. I demand 50% of all the winnings and I’ll prosecute anyone who doesn’t comply (my girlfriend studies to be a lawyer, beware). The same applies to a Ł100 voucher for uksoccershop.com, three Euro 2008 jerseys from soccerpro.com and a pair of new Nike boots that are up for grabs in Euro 2008 Predictor competition (in the case of boots I demand one of them). Go and play.